Sunday, January 3, 2010

Love Is Allowing...

Subject: "The Face of Love" sent you a message on Facebook...

Nick Ralls sent a message to the members of The Face of Love.


Affirmation for Saturday January 2nd

I seek to allow people to feel safe with me... to be able to express themselves without judgment or agenda. I appreciate the need we all have for someone to be present, to listen and hear us so that we might feel less lonely and find our own answers.

HOW very wonderful it is when we feel safe to be ourselves.

In a loving relationship, we are able to take down the barriers, dispense with the masks and express ourselves as we are.

This happens when we are with someone who we know loves us unconditionally, the way a parent loves a child.

Without this type of loving relationship, we can feel lonely, misunderstood and not accepted.

And one of the greatest gifts we can give another... whether it be a significant other, friend, family member, to allow that person to feel safe.

It is wonderful - absolutely wonderful  to feel really and completely safe with another human being.

And this means the safety to express ourselves as we are... not to be afraid of what we might say or do that could alter that other person's opinion of ourselves.

How liberating it is to feel free of the need to say the right thing, do the right things and in so doing not have to hide so much of our true selves.

When you love someone... truly unconditionally love give them the safety to say anything knowing that you will not be judging, rescuing or forcing your opinion on them.

So often you and I just need to be heard, listened to and understood.

How disconcerting it can be when someone cuts in when we express ourselves... stops us in our flow... seeks to change our opinion or impose their own take on the situation.

All we really want is to be heard, to be supported and to be understood where we are coming from... It is after all our lesson, our exploration, our journey.

We do not seek those who will persuade us to get off the train unless it is heading towards the end of the cliff when we would not unduly blame them for slamming on the brakes for us.

But it is not so often that we are heading for the end.

We just want companionship... we want someone to hear our story, appreciate what we are setting out to do, the experiences we are undergoing, the trials we face and the tribulations that dominate our life.

We want someone to be there for us... to be present without any agenda of their own.

Because so often the agenda of another will obscure and even totally hide our own story which so needs to be expressed, making us feel unsafe in telling it the way we so much need to tell it.

We need a loving person in our life to help us hear ourselves more clearly.

So much more clearly.

How disconcerting it is when someone does not give us their full attention... diverts their gaze.. clearly shows that other things are on their mind.

And how disconcerting it is when we feel that someone is judging us, by the avoidance of eye contact, their looks of disapproval or confusion.

So much we need to have someone's undivided loving attention for as long as it takes... and so often it does not take that long.

When someone opens their heart or shares their story with us, let us attempt to give them our total attention whatever worries or concerns might be fighting for attention in our minds.

It is being there for someone.

As simple as it might seem, giving someone 100 per cent of our attention is immensely healing for them as much as it also teaches us so much about ourselves... which we dilute when we think of a number of things at the same time.

And we need to accept someone for who they are and what they are telling us...

People do not want to be taken out of their feelings... made to feel that they are expressing wrongly or taking a bad view of things.

They just want someone to be with them while they explore their emotions so that they can find the healing answers within themselves without being fixed, forced or persuaded to take a different road.

When we are truly loving, we are there  for people in our life...we give them our time, hear their story and heal them with our attention without judgment or agenda.

When they tell their story, share their heart with us... we love them even more.

The more we know of the truth of another, the more and more we can love them. Really love them.

So dear and beautiful friend... do share what is going on for you on this subject or any subject

I love you


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